


énouement

by hyperclone



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Feelings Realization, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 00:30:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20183260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperclone/pseuds/hyperclone
Summary: Sayo always worked hard to be the best. Aya always believed through hard work she could achieve anything. Somehow they both end up feeling inadequate.





	énouement

Sayo looked in the mirror, studying herself. It was something she would never admit to, but every time she entered the Circle bathroom, she couldn’t help but stare at her reflection. She looked far too much like her sister. When Hina cut her hair, Sayo grew it long. When Hina wore that, Sayo wore this. When Hina attended Haneoka Girls' High School, Sayo went to Hanasakigawa. Everything she could do to differentiate. Everything she could do to get away from her.

So stepping into the studio for an early practice session alone, she was surprised to see her sister’s bandmate sitting on the floor crying. The girl looked up from the same hands she had been bawling into. A mixture of saltwater and mucus was pooled into them. Sayo had definitely seen Maruyama-san in better positions. She needed a tissue. Several. Now they were having the most awkward staring contest in existence. Sayo didn’t have time for this. She needed to practice.

But Aya’s face was so painful, so  _ defeated _ . Tears and snot ran down her puffy, red face, and Sayo somehow knew exactly what was going on. She couldn’t get a part right. It was something so simple, but it had a horrible effect on her. On both of them. Sayo had spent countless nights rehearsing over and over Roselia’s songs, but they were never perfect. She could always do more. And that same more was the one making Maruyama-san look so helpless. She sighed and set her guitar down.

“I’ll go get some tissues,” was all she said before returning to the lobby. When she came back Aya was on her feet. She looked away as she took the box. She may have muttered a ‘thank you’, but it was too quiet for Sayo to tell. When she was through wiping herself clean, she finally looked Sayo in the eye. But it seemed like she was going to start crying all over again.

“What song do you need help with? If you have the guitarist part, I can help you practice.” 

“What?” Maruyama-san blinked in surprise. Sayo sighed and crossed her arms.

“We don’t have much time. Roselia is set to practice at seven.” The guitarist had arrived early, obviously. She had already started removing her instrument from its case and placed the strap on her shoulder.

“O-okay.” Aya rustled through her bag until she found the right sheet music. She handed it to Sayo, her eyes staring at her in awe and wonder. Sayo ignored it. She put the paper on her stand and started getting familiar with the chords.

“Hikawa-san,” Aya paused for a moment, “does Hina ever practice at home?”

“No.” She answered bluntly, not even looking at her. There was an unspoken yearning shared between them, to be more like Hina. To have raw, natural talent for everything. To not have to work so hard. Sayo used to play until her fingers bled just to catch up to her, that unachievable goal. She fiddled around with the song some more, waiting for Aya to join in.

“You have to sing to improve, you know.”

“I-I know!” She seemed determined now, even if her eyes were still glassy. She brought the microphone stand closer her lips and nodded. Sayo started playing.

It was a poor first read on her part. It was more complicated than she had anticipated a Pastel Palettes song to be. But that was Hina, always succeeding expectations. She felt like an amateur reading through a part her sister could easily breeze through. She became more aggressive with her strumming without even realizing it. Her emotions usually never affected her playing, but it must have been noticeable because Maruyama-san stopped singing. She stopped too.

“What’s wrong?” Aya looked down at the ground before speaking.

“I always mess up on this chorus. I can’t hit the high note.” She clenched her hands into fists, clearly feeling hopeless once again. So it hadn’t been Sayo’s playing after all. She shook her head.

“If you say you can’t, you won’t be able to. You just have to focus on the music. Stop getting in your head on what you can and can’t do.” Sayo didn’t find her own words to be particularly inspiring, more just common sense, but Aya’s eyes almost sparkled when she said it. 

“Yeah! I just have to focus on the music!” It was odd how her emotions changed so quickly. Maruyama Aya was a strange girl. They went through it a few more times, and Sayo could tell what note she was having trouble with. She didn’t know anything about singing to help her. Minato-san never seemed to struggle with this sort of thing. At least not during practice. There was a silence as Aya took a deep breath. She was unbelievably persistent. It was something Sayo had always found admirable about her. She kept trying no matter what.

Sayo began playing again, but when it got to the chorus nothing came out of the singer’s mouth. Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be good enough, will I?” Aya wiped a hand across her cheek. Sayo didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t expected her to be so open, and she was never good with emotions herself, but related deeply to the problem. This was a tough situation she wasn’t sure she wanted to be in.

“Who are you trying to be good enough for?” She surprised herself with her own words. It seemed like a logical question…

“I don’t know,” Aya answered truthfully, still looking at the ground. Her voice was almost a whisper as she said it. “Just, everyone. Anyone. I’ll never be good like Minato-san, or any of my favorite idols. No matter what I do-”

“Stop.” Sayo interrupted her. Aya looked at her, eyes watery, waiting for something. Some sort of advice, but Sayo didn’t have any generic motivating speeches to give. So she spoke from the heart.

“You’re right. You’ll never be like Minato-san. You two are nothing alike.” Aya lowered her head in shame. “So stop comparing yourself to everyone. I’ve spent years comparing myself to Hina, and it’s gotten me nowhere.” She had raised her voice. Something about this girl, Sayo had to be honest with her. She had to be sincere, but this was too much. Why was she so emotional today? Why did this silly girl have such an effect on her? 

“I joined Roselia for my sister, but I stayed for me. I want to improve myself, so I can be better than who I was yesterday!” She shouted, and she didn’t know if she was saying it to herself or Aya. The singer stared at her in shock and didn’t say anything. Her eyes welled up for the third time. They shared a knowing glance at each other. 

“You’re right. I’ve been going about this all wrong.” Aya whined. Sayo smiled and handed her another tissue. All this emotion had them both exasperated.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Maruyama-san.” She awkwardly placed a hand on Aya’s shoulder, but the other decided to turn it into a full hug. Sayo wasn’t used to touching, but it made her heart feel lighter than ever. Her realization had helped someone else. They split.

“Do you want to try again one more time?”

“No,” Aya giggled, “I think I’m honestly done for right now.”

“Okay.” And she wasn’t upset at her for giving up for the day. She was proud.

**Author's Note:**

> i saw this ship on twitter and decided to write a quick drabble hehe


End file.
